ioncebrokeharlem:

image

I know. 

I know how that must have hurt and I’m sorry. I could say it a million times but it wouldn’t take what I said and did back but it’s all I can say.

I’m so sorry, Skaar.

I still love you. 

I miss you a lot. 

[there’s silence. She’s not always good at handling emotional scenes. Her assumption is often that she’s not worth the time to have them.]

I told Uncle Jay I’d cook dinner. Do you want to stay and eat with us?

(Source: sonofhulk)

ioncebrokeharlem:

image

I don’t have a side, or an ulterior motive. 

I wanted to be a better person. A better mother. I don’t think you get just how guilty I feel about this. You were supposed to be my responsibility, my daughter, my reason to stay somewhere and I messed that up because I was terrified. 

Maybe I’m just tired of being that stupid, scared, horrible mother.

You really want to be better?

You hurt me… the last thing you said, you did, you tried to kill babies that looked like me. And I was so angry at you.

Now I think you just didn’t understand. In your mind you didn’t connect that me, as a baby, looked like a monster, not like you did growing up. 

That my experience was different.

Do you understand now? What that meant to me?

(Source: sonofhulk)

ioncebrokeharlem:

image

What reason would I have to lie to you Skaar?

I wish I could go back, okay? I just…I’ve never been good for anyone in my life and I made a split decision that I thought was the right one. You mattered too much to me for me to be constantly terrified of hurting you. 

I’m a horrible mother. And I’m so sorry. And I’m not asking you to forgive me, but I….I don’t know. I don’t know why I came but I just did, okay? I wanted to see you.

To… use me. Get me on your side. 

What’s… changed? For you to feel safe to come to me now? Why do you want to see me so badly? This hasn’t happened before…

(Source: sonofhulk)

ioncebrokeharlem:

image

I…

I never learned how to do that.

[Her voice cracks, but she regains her composure quickly.] You do matter. You matter so much that I…It was safer for you to be away from me. I would have made thing ten times worse if I stayed with you.

How do I know you’re not lying?

We were bonding! I did anything for you, I would have done more. And you left me there. You just left, like everyone else, like I didn’t matter at all!

[She’s trying to keep the tears and sadness out of her voice, instead it’s all anger. Or, she tries to make it all anger.]

(Source: sonofhulk)

Those RP partners that you just click with and you’re like…

image

(Source: thegreatestadventureslieinbooks)

ioncebrokeharlem:

image

Yes. Yes, I’d rather come to see you when you’re safe and happy. I’d rather come and see you when I don’t feel like the shittiest person on the planet because I can’t help you out of those things that you were going through. What do you want me to do instead? 

I don’t know…

Act like a mother…

[She growls and looks away and then back] Jay said I matter. But you never came back for me. Why didn’t you come back for me?

(Source: sonofhulk)

ioncebrokeharlem:

Am I not allowed to visit anymore?

image

I….only wanted to see if you were alright.

Now when I’m safe and happy you want to visit? Now of all times you want to see me. Not all those months… Savage Lands, and being the Avengers dirty work girl? At least Jay looks out for me. And he doesn’t have to. He’s not responsible for me. 

(Source: sonofhulk)

What are you doing here? 

I live with Uncle Jay now.

mythandrists:

mental illnesses cannot be ‘fixed’ by getting a love interest

not in roleplays

not in fanfiction

not in published fiction

not in real life

do not write this i will cut you

no, it can’t.

But research has shown that romance, love, and affection can help with mental illnesses.

It can also decrease the amount of time it takes to heal- physically and emotionally- with wounds. And more thoroughly.

Contact heightens the release of endorphins and other hormones.

So yes, love interests and romance to do not ‘fix’ mental illnesses.

But support networks and love can help the person struggling with it, in more ways than one.

disarminglycharminghans:

                                            I am

                            m a n y          things and

                                    a    

                                          { h e r o }    is

                    none     of          them